


Burrow Buds

by defenestratable



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: EVERYBODY SHIPS SCOROSE :D (eventually), Evil Plotting, F/M, Gen, Harry Potter Next Generation, Howlers and other regrettable pranks, James is a drama queen, Rose keeps leaving the chat, doesn't follow Cursed Child, edit 12/28/2017: asdfghjkl i'm so sorry i actually wrote this :'), texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-07 02:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11614419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defenestratable/pseuds/defenestratable
Summary: The Potter-Weasley cousins have a group chat. Pranks, shipping, and Scorose ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. In my defense, it was almost 2 in the morning and I've been reading a lot of Scorose XD  
> 2\. I'm pretty sure writing this grammatically-horrifying fic has drained my ability to send normal texts.  
> 3\. The first chapter doesn't have much of a plot, but future ones do! ^^
> 
> Recommendations for reading: in a dark room past midnight :D

  **james potter** has added **fred weasley** , **lily potter** , **hugo granger-weasley** , **roxanne weasley** , and **rose granger-weasley** to this chat.

 **james potter** has named this chat **burrow buds**.

 **james potter** has changed his alias to **the best™**.

 **the best™:** ayyyy new year, new gc  
whos ready to fail newts??

 **fred:** meeeeeee!

 **the best™:** ayyy

 **fred:** ayyy

 **the best™:** ayyyyyyyy

 **fred:** ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **rose:** as much as I hate to interrupt this _very_ eloquent conversation, what exactly is the point of this chat?  
if it's for memes, I'm leaving.

 **the best™:** ayyyyyyyyyyYYYyyYYyYyyyYYYYy  
omg rosie did u just insult my memes  
my memes are aMEMEzing

 **rose:** this sort of melodrama is why I want to leave.

 **the best™:** im honestly so hurt rn  
i might sob a lil  
brb

 **fred:** look what youve done rose!!!!

 **rose:** sorry

 **rose granger-weasley** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the best™** has added **rose granger-weasley** to **burrow buds**.

 **rose:**  I still don't see any reason to stay in this chat.

 **the best™:** ok but srsly this is for.. idk mass communication with the cousins??  
it doesnt rlly gotta have a point??  
speaking of which I didnt forget anyone did i

 **lily:** how about your own brother?

 **the best™:**  woops  
wait nO I DONT OWE ANYTHING TO THAT SLYTEHIRN TRAITOR

 **lily:** it’s been 5 years, james, get over it

 **the best™:** N E V E R

 **rose granger-weasley** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the best™:** rosie get back here!!

 **the best™** has added **rose granger-weasley** to **burrow buds**.

 **rose:** stop calling me rosie, and I’ll stay in the chat.

 **the best™:** what?? no ofc not  
prepstoreous conditions

 **rose granger-weasley** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the best™** has added **rose granger-weasley** to **burrow buds**.

 **rose granger-weasley** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the best™** has added **rose granger-weasley** to **burrow buds**.

 **the best™:**  ok FINE no rosie for a week  
happy?

 **rose:** mildly satisfied, yes.

 **roxanne:** hi everyone! james, I think you forgot to add albus :P

 **the best™:** I DIDNT FORGET TH SSTLYERHERINQIERU SCUM

 **rose:** he’s just salty about the quidditch cup last year.

 **the best™:** UR NOT MUCH BETTER U RAEVNCALW POSIE  
AND I HAVE EVRY RIGHT TO BE  
MY OWN BROTHER WITH THE SLTYERINS  
CATCHNIG THE BLOODY SNITCH FOR THE SELTYHERNs  
AIUENYRCWIEORYAOIWYERNXANUOQURENX8WRNN83NUCEAOINXASDOIJWAE

 **rose:** call me any more nicknames and I will leave this chat.

 **lily:** be _sirius_ , james

 **hugo** has added **albus potter** to **burrow buds**.

 **hugo:** ur welcome

 **the best™:** SSLYSDLTHLYTHERINNG SCCUUCUCUMMM

 **lily:** stop being a drama queen

 **the best™:** and start what stuyding??

 **rose:** yes? owls and newts literally decide our futures.  
if you really want to get into the auror program, you need to pass with flying colors.

 **the best™:** study queen preaches ofc  **  
** u kno i was jokin about failing right?

 **fred:** lol mate i wasnt

 **rose granger-weasley** has changed her alias to **studyqueen**.

 **studyqueen:** being studious is not an insult.

 **albus:** oooook now that ive read everything i can testify that james is indeed very very very salty  
not my fault i saw the snitch before u m8  
better luck next time

 **albus potter** has changed his alias to **the actual best™**.

 **the best™:** how do u kick someone out??

 **studyqueen:** you can’t.

 **the best™:** ok i think i found it  
wait nvm  
merlins underpants

 **the actual best™:** hA

 **hugo:** speaking of underpants aunt ginny is screaming that u need to pack ur clothes  
like actually screamin  
how r u not hearing her?

 **the best™:** muting charm >:)

 **roxanne:** hey again, everyone! what time does the Hogwarts Express leave? dad forgot again :P

 **studyqueen:** tomorrow, 10:30.

 **roxanne:** k! thx ro <3

 **studyqueen:** np

 **roxanne:** btw, i have high hopes for whatever prank you pull off tomorrow!

 **the best™:** ah yis  
fred my mate my partenr in crime  
weve got evil plotting to do

 **fred:** flooing in 5

 **studyqueen:** I swear, if I’m the prank recipient, I’m never helping you with essays again.

 **fred:** rosie u wouldnt!!!! D:

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the best™:** danggit fred

 **fred:** SRRY

 **fred** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **fred:** ok no pranks, no nicknames

 **studyqueen:** good :)

 

* * *

 

 **studyqueen** has opened a direct message with **anna longbottom**.

 **studyqueen:** ugh James started another big group chat.  
actually this is kind of fun.  
I keep leaving and they’re practically begging me to stay now XD  
little do they know, I’ll have zero time for editing their essays anyway.  
benefits (?) of being a prefect~

 **anna:**  back  
haha you like messing with them too much XD

 **studyqueen:** guilty :P

 **anna:** wait is like… everyone in this gc?

 **studyqueen;** yes? all the hogwarts cousins.

 **anna:** omg evil plan surfacing!! add me to the chat

 **studyqueen:** um, k?

 

* * *

 

 **studyqueen** has added **anna longbottom** to **burrow buds**.

 **anna:** hey weasleys, potters!

 **lily:**  anna!!

 **the actual best™:** hold up  
i thought this was for fam only?  
not that u arent cool anna no offense  
ur cool

 **anna:** none taken ^^

 **studyqueen:** actually, the name of this chat is burrow buds.  
considering Anna was with us all summer, she counts.

 **the best™:** fair point  
weclome anna  
also i need a new witty name asap  
halp

 **lily:** did you have a witty name to begin with?

 **the best™** has changed his alias to **the better best™.**

 **anna:**  thanks, glad to be here! ^^

 **the actual best™:** well i mean if ROSE’s best mate can be in this chat..

 **the better best™:** wat r u  
wait nO NO MORE BLOODY SLTYESLRHNGINSSS  
ISTG AL

 **the actual best™** has added **scorpius malfoy** to **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™:** WTF AL  
THATS IT IM DISONWING YOU

 **scorpius:** Hey everyone, how’s it going?  
One minute, let me read the chat.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™:** DO U SEE WAT UVE DONE

 

* * *

 

 **anna longbottom** has opened a direct message with **studyqueen**.

 **anna:** why did you leave??  
bc of scorpius???

 **studyqueen:** I thought that was obvious?

 **anna:** :(  
you ruined my evil plan

 **studyqueen:** … what _was_ your evil plan?

 **anna:** nvm nvm

 

* * *

 

 **the better best™** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **fred:** rose pls stay!!

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.     

 **hugo:** james..

 **lily:** this is ridiculous        
she doesn’t want to be here.

 **the better best™:** shHHHHHHH  
THINK OF THE ESASYS PPL

 **the better best™** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™:** ok rose we want u to stay  
what do we have to do??

 **studyqueen:** remove malfoy.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™:** U HEARD HER GET OUT

 **the actual best™:** thats hardly fair -_-

 **scorpius malfoy** has changed his alias to **hugo granger-weasley**.

 **hugo granger-weasley** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **hugo:** wtf???

 **hugo:** Hi sis, Malfoy left the chat!

 **hugo:** ????????????

 **studyqueen:** poor try.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™:** ok scorp its officaily ur job to get rosi back  
if u dont well peer pressure u til u leav

 **hugo:** Is it really so important that she remains in this chat?  
This seems like an excuse to maintain divdes between the houses.

 **the better best™:**  nah

 **hugo:** malfoy pls change ur name

 **hugo granger-weasley** has changed his alias to **ferret spawn**.

 **ferret spawn** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**.

 **ferret spawn:** I’ll keep this name until you leave this chat.

 **studyqueen:** …  
fine. I'm doing this for anna and roxy though.

 **ferret spawn:** Thanks, Rosie.

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the better best™:**  MERLIN MALFOY I THOUHGT U READ THE CHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter didn't really have any plot (it was more of an intro) but future chapters will :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are pranks, almost-pranks, and Scorose (kinda).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, actual plot stuff happens in this chapter! :D
> 
> And here are the characters listed in case you're wondering ^^
> 
>  **Lily:** year 3, Gryffindor  
>  **Hugo:** year 3, Gryffindor  
>  **Roxanne:** year 4, Gryffindor  
>  **Albus:** year 5, Slytherin, the actual best™  
>  **Scorpius:** year 5, Slytherin, ferret spawn  
>  **Anna:** year 5, Ravenclaw  
>  **Rose:** year 5, Ravenclaw, studyqueen  
>  **James:** year 7, Gryffindor, the better best™ <  
>  **Fred:** year 7, Gryffindor
> 
> And without further ado, the ~~bad grammar~~ fic!

**studyqueen** has sent an image in **burrow buds**.

 **hugo:** uhh what am i looking at here  
seriously the trains wifi is slow as slugs and its rlly pixelated

 **studyqueen:** DO YOU SEE THIS?  
DO YOU FREAKING SEE THIS?  
THE PLATFORM IS ON _FIRE_

 **the better best™** has changed his alias to **the prankmaster**

 **the prankmaster:** lol

 **fred:** ayyyy high 5

 **the prankmaster:** the high has been 5ved  
chill rose its an illusion  
mostly

 **studyqueen:** THIS ISN’T A PRANK, THIS IS ARSON  
WHAT DO YOU NOT GET OF THE PLATFORM IS ON  _FIRE?_  
I’M TURNING YOU IN TO MCGONAGALL

 **the prankmaster:** craaaaaap      

 **fred:**  oh man no ones hurt right?

 **the prankmaster:** im pretty sure no one could ve been  
like.. 50% sure

 **anna:** what??!?

 **studyqueen:** ONLY 50 PERCENT SURE? JAMES, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

 **ferret spawn:** I’m actually with Rose here.

 **the prankmaster:** oh wow thats a first  
ok ok sorry sorry!!!  
we didnt have that much time 2 test the spells  
plz dont turn us in  
ill carry ur books for 2 weeks  
3 weeks  
til christmas  
rose  
rose  
rose??!?!

 **fred:** i barely helped the prank at all im innocent i swear it was all james

 **the prankmaster:** ok first of all H U R T F U L  
second of all RORO NO

 

* * *

 

 **minerva mcgonagall** has opened a direct message with **james potter**.

 **mcgonagall:** I have been informed separately by two prefects that you and Fred Weasley II planned the fire on Platform 9¾ this morning. Your parents have already been notified. Professor Acknolz will see both of you in detention after the feast, effective every Saturday until Christmas. You are banned from the first three Quidditch games and will issue a formal apology tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?

 **james:** yes headmistress

 

* * *

 

 **the prankmaster** has sent a screenshot in **burrow buds**

 **the prankmaster:** BLOODY SLTYSERIN FERRET RATTED US OUT TOO  
U SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF URSELF  
IM BANNED FROM THREE QUIDDICH GAMES  
T H R E E

 **fred:** three? lol im only banned from 1

 **the prankmaster:** WAT?@?!?!!?

 **the actual best™** has changed his alias to **the best seeker**.

 **the best seeker:** now im not just the best seeker in the family, im the only one  >:)

 **the prankmaster:** ALBUS SEVRFEUS WHY R U LIKE DIS  
lol that rhymes  
IM STILL MAD  
FERRET

 **ferret spawn:** To be fair, everyone already knew it was you two.  
And Finnigan lost most of his hair in the fire, which doesn’t help your case.

 **the prankmaster:** woops

 **hugo:** yea everyone knew it was u  
the real surprise here is that scorpy and rose agreed on smth

 **ferret spawn:** Don’t call me Scorpy.

 **the best seeker:** ok scorpy  
<https://youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ>

**anna:** um, what does this have to do with anything? ^^

 **the best seeker:** its a muggle thing, its supposed to be funny??  
u kno what nvm

 

* * *

 

 **studyqueen** has opened **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen:**  ANNAAAAAA  
SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY, THE GIT, IS TAKING ALL THE SAME OWL CLASSES AS ME  
HE SPILLED HIS POTION ALL OVER MY DESK  
HOGWARTS: AN ADVANCED HISTORY IS NOW HOGWARTS: A SOGGY HISTORY  
I’M SO CLOSE TO HEXING A WALL  
ACTUALLY I JUST DID

 **anna:** a good way to relieve anger ^^  
need to rant?  
I’ll be down in ten

 **studyqueen:** k, you’re the best.

 **the prankmaster:** hon this is the gc

 **studyqueen:** ?!??!  
ugh, whatever.  
jsyk, ferret spawn, you ruined my ink.  
and my quill.  
and the essay I was almost done writing.

 **the best seeker:** the dada one?? rose its the second day of school

 **studyqueen:** AND I WAS ALMOST DONE WITH THE ESSAY  
not that it means anything now.

 **ferret spawn:** Hold on, I just got these messages.  
Sorry Rose, the potion slipped. I didn’t mean to ruin your schoolwork.

 **studyqueen:** are you kidding? you were smirking right before you spilled it.  
i’m not an idiot.

 **ferret spawn:** I wasn’t smirking!  
I was walking to the cupboard and you hit me in the face with hair!

 **anna:** it wasn’t a smirk

 **studyqueen:** you’re siding with _him?_

 **anna:** it was more of a grin  
and you were definitely walking toward rose, not the cupboard ^^

 **studyqueen:** _thank_ you.

 **ferret spawn:** You still hit me in the face with hair!

 **studyqueen:** even if that _did_ happen, which it didn’t, “oops, there's hair in my face” does not automatically translate to “throw literally everything I’m holding on Rose’s desk.”  
or maybe it does, in your twisted book.

 **ferret spawn:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT  
I EVEN KEPT THE FERRET SPAWN ALIAS TO APPEASE YOU AND YOUR COUSINS

 **studyqueen:** IF THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, THEN DUMBLEDORE AND VOLDEMORT WERE SECRET LOVERS WHO BOUGHT A FLAT IN WINDLEWIZARDSHIRE AND SPLIT THE SOULS OF HOUSE ELVES FOR LONGEVITY UNTIL THE MID-1400S, YOU SLITHERING SCUM  
HONESTLY

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**.

 **the best seeker:**...  
that sounds like the plot to a twisted fanfic  
idk its a muggle thing

 **lily:** anna, did you find rose??

 **anna:** no worries, I got this ^^

 **the prankmaster:** wow  
i KNEW slytherin scum wuold catch on

 **fred:** omg u actully spelled it right

 **the prankmaster:** ayyyyyy

 **fred:** ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **the prankmaster:** ayyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYyyYYYYYyyYYYYYYY

 **lily:** i’ll leave this chat like rose if you two don’t shut up

 

* * *

 

 **the best seeker** has opened a direct message with **ferret spawn**.

 **the best seeker:** what the salazar happened in potions????

 **ferret spawn:** I literally just explained it in the chat?  
No one believes me.

 **the best seeker:**  ok mate i believe u  
but i mean, in third year you _actually_ spilled a potion all over her stuff on purpose  
so u cant blame anyone for being suspicious

 **ferret spawn:** Two words: prank war.  
It was an accident this time :((((

 **the best seeker:** yea :/  
but like crap  
this could start _another_ prank war  
do u rlly wanna start another prank war??

 **ferret spawn:** No, of course not!

 **the best seeker:** omg  
u used an exclamation point  
ur so lying  
so u DO wanna start another prank war w rosie

 **ferret spawn:** I don’t.

 **the best seeker:** ofc weve learned so many new spells since then  
i would nvr encourage u to revive a rivalry thats so lethal  
…  
revive the rivary

 **ferret spawn:** ALBUS

 **the best seeker:** what?? the prank war was pure gold!!  
and mate ur subconscious obvi told u to go and spill the potion  
rivalryyyyyyy

 **ferret spawn:**   _ALBUS_

 **the best seeker:** jk jk  
but in all honestly scorp u arent usually that clumsy  
if this isnt about ur rivalry then do u idk fancy rosie or smth???  
hshhdhahhaahshfdhshahahahahha  
aoewurcaoiufsaoifdslfdskjfdskjlkjfdsOAIFIOsdfoioiuooikjkjfsfsfdo8ur32fwds  
weriuoiusafdhonhaSA877DOIFOICcw3onoinaoiajewDDdoijnowienjdcouSDSDFabytberiyniuyrew3y98ebcuys3dffssshha

 **ferret spawn:** Are you okay??

 **the best seeker:** srry, choked on something  
brb

 

* * *

 

 **anna longbottom** has opened a direct message with **studyqueen**.

 **anna:** are you in the restricted section? I can’t find you :(

 **studyqueen:** astronomy tower.  
I hexed another wall or two.

 **anna:** ok, coming now ^^

 **studyqueen:** wait, you don’t have to come if you have something to do.  
I’m not hex-a-wall angry anymore.  
I bumped into Albus a few minutes ago  
apparently, Malfoy and I are taking the same classes bc he wants to go into potions too. it’s not to get on my nerves :P

 **anna:** oh, that’s good!

 **studyqueen:**  yeah, and it’s quiet up here, so I rewrote the DADA essay and now I’m starting on herbology.  
there’s actually this _really_ comfy window seat.

 **anna:** oooh do I sense a new study spot?  
grabbing my work, be right up ^^

 **studyqueen:** ^^

 

* * *

 

 **anna longbottom** has added  **studyqueen** to  **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen:** okay Malfoy, you’re forgiven.

 **ferret spawn:** I am?

 **studyqueen:** you’re right, it was an accident, and I don’t believe you’d actually out yourself as a clumsy mess in front of the potions professor.

 **ferret spawn:** Yeah, not my most brilliant moment.

 **studyqueen:** … are you actually admitting to a _flaw?_  
wow, this is a momentous occasion.  
I'm going to use this against you in every argument.

 **ferret spawn:** Ha. Ha.

 **studyqueen:** anyways, jsyk Malfoy, I will be _fighting_ you for that potions recommendation.

 **ferret spawn:** Bring it on.

 **lily:** awww, you guys made up! so sweet  <3

 **the prankmaster:** haha lils u make scorpy and rose sound like a couple

 **the best seeker:** awaoeahhhahhahaahhawoicroiaoiaoiAOIUEWROIOAPAAOIeO  
haahahHAHHAHAhhahahaHAHhAhAh

 **the prankmaster:** lol al r u ok??

 **the best seeker:** yeah yeah im fine

 **ferret spawn:** … Okay.  
Um, by the way. Rose.

 **studyqueen:**?

 **ferret spawn:** Don’t sit at the Ravenclaw table today. I mean, don’t sit in your usual spot at the Ravenclaw table. Actually, don’t let anyone sit in your usual spot. Or within a 5-foot radius of it.

 **studyqueen:** … WHAT THE MERLIN WERE YOU GOING TO DO?

 **ferret spawn:** It wasn’t me! James planned it!

 **studyqueen:** JAMES, WTM WERE YOU GOING TO DO??

 **the prankmaster:** uh rose i didnt plan anything 2nite  
not for u at least  
what kind of amatuer prank depends on where u SIT at dinner?  
plz fred and i are professoinals

 **studyqueen:** JAMES SIRIUS POTTER

 

* * *

 

 **the best seeker** has opened a direct message with **ferret spawn**.

 **the best seeker:** mate did u actually try to revive the rivalry??

 **ferret spawn: …  
** No, of course not.

 **the best seeker:** ok lol  
dinners already started, meet u there?

 **ferret spawn:** K.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dramatic gasp* >:)
> 
> YAAY, YOU MADE IT TO THE END OF THE SECOND CHAPTER!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the shipping begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:)

**the** **prankmaster** has opened **burrow buds**. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** omg i just had the most AMAZNIG idea   
awards   
like anna was talking about the muggle schools have???   
most likely to puke from on top of the the eifefl tower and cutest couple etc etc   
i need this to be a thing at hogwnats!!   
someone who mcgondagnal doesnt hate needs 2 bring it up   
hullo????   
frends?????????? 

 **ferret spawn:** It’s 4 in the morning. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** why does no one apreocieaeet my ideas? 

 **fred** **:** mate, why are u up?   
and why tf did u wake me up? 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** idk insomnia??   
and its just SUCH a good idea ya kno?   
scorpy and rose would get most likely to succeed   
u and me would get most likely to blow up the school hands down 

 **fred** **:** tru, very tru 

 **studyqueen** **:** JAMES SIRIUS POTTER WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME 21 TEXTS AT 4:02 AM   
I SWEAR TO GODRIC   
STOP LIGHTING UP MY ROOM WITH YOUR INANE MIDNIGHT COMMENTS   
IF YOU TWO ARE AWAKE, YOU CAN PARTY IT UP IN YOUR OWN DM   
BUT SOME OF US CARE V MUCH ABOUT OUR ACADEMICS AND NEED OUR SLEEP AND/OR SANITY, EMPHASIS ON _SANITY_  

 **lily** **:** what rose said 

 **hugo** **:** seconded 

 **fred** **:** sorry   
also not to be rude, but u kno u can mute ur phone rite? 

 **studyqueen** **:** FRED REMUS WEASLEY 

 **fred** **:** k to the dms it is 

 

* * *

  

 **lily potter** has opened **burrow buds**. 

 **lily** **:** let me guess, fred and jamie slept like dead weights thru all their classes?   
anyone wanna bet on this? 

 **the best seeker:** two pounds says one of them got detention 

 **lily:** pounds? 

 **the best seeker:** it’s a muggle thing   
galleons, srry 

 **lily:** I was joking, but k 

 **fred** **:** hey   
I got detention, james didn’t 

 **the best seeker:** HA   
HA   
LILY U OWE ME NOW   
WTF IVE NEVER ACTUALLY WON A BET   
VICTORYY DANCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

 **lily:** … 

 **fred** **:** ignoring the weird cousin,,, the last thing i needed was more detention :(   
honestly i wasn’t even sleeping, just spaced out!!   
thanks acknolz 

 **fred** **weasley** has changed his nickname to **needs liquid luck**. 

 **needs liquid luck:** [sad emoji] 

 **studyqueen** **:** unfortunately, fred, felix felicis is not something that can fix your problems.   
it actually gives you faux-bravado, and you feel depressive after. 

 **ferret spawn:** Nah, of _course_ felix felicis can solve all of Fred’s problems, Rosie. 

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**. 

 **needs liquid luck:** SCORPIUS 

 **ferret spawn:** Um, oops. 

 **needs liquid luck** **:** :(((((((( 

 **ferret spawn:** Anyway, sorry, Fred. To be honest, Acknolz is a terrible professor.   
This questions on his practice test yesterday were quite… questionable.   
I’m pretty sure I saw the same ones last year. 

 **anna** **:** really?! 

 **ferret spawn:** Yeah, stealing questions from another professor’s exam isn’t just lazy, it might be against school policy. I’m still looking into it. 

 **anna** **:** nonono, rose mentioned the exact same thing to me yesterday 

 **anna** **longbottom** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**. 

 **anna** **:** hey rose, you weren’t just imagining it, scorpius thinks Acknolz stole questions too!! 

 **studyqueen** **:** really, ferret spawn? 

 **ferret spawn** has left **burrow buds**. 

 **needs liquid luck** **:** LOOOOOLLLLLLOLLOLOL   
does he actaully think someone will add him back? 

 **studyqueen** **:** apparently so   
honestly, ferret spawn is _literally_ his self-imposed alias.   
why is it such a big deal? 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** oMG THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL!!!!!   
I HAVE BEEN WAITNIG FOR THIS MOMENT FOREVR   
YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS   
FAERWELL SETLYEHRIN SCUUMMM   
NVR COME BACK 

 **the best seeker** has added **ferret spawn** to **burrow buds**. 

 **the best seeker:** i gotchu mate 

 **ferret spawn:** Thanks. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** WAT THE MERLIN ALBUS!!!!!!   
WHY WUOLD U BRING HIM BACK??!??!?!?!?!??!   
ALBUS UR STILL DISOWENDD U HEAR ME   
D I S O W N E D 

 **the best seeker:** aww dear brotehr! you finally figuerd out how to spell! 

 **studyqueen** **:** let’s settle this: neither of you can spell, and acknolz certainly can’t teach.   
malfoy, what did you find on the school policy? 

 **ferret spawn:** Not much.   
I’m looking through the Hogwarts shelf right now. 

 **studyqueen** **:** in the library?   
no, the hogwarts shelf is mostly history.   
what you need is a book about the international wizarding community. they generally have a big section on education, academic honesty, etc. and that will include Hogwarts.

 **ferret spawn:** Oh, well that saves me a lot of time. Thanks. 

 **studyqueen** **:** np.   
actually, I need to return some books today.   
I can help you research. Acknolz is going down.   
on my way. 

 **ferret spawn:** K. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** W O W   
5th year must be a miralce for u 2   
ur actually working together.. on something none of us care abt but still   
r we SURE scorpy and rose arent intruders under polyjuice??? 

 **ferret spawn:** Stop calling me Scorpy. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** scorpyyy 

 **needs liquid luck** **:** scorpyyyyyyyyyy 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** scorpyyyyyyyyyYYyyyyYYYyyYYYYYYyy 

 **studyqueen** **:** you two have the maturity of newborn baboons. 

 **ferret spawn:** Shouldn’t it be “scorpayyyyy?” 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** scorpAyyyyayyayyAYYAYYAYAYYAYYAYYYYY 

 **ferret spawn:** Nevermind, forget I said that.   
At least Scorpy is marginally better than Ferret Spawn.   
Marginally. 

 **studyqueen** **:** really, scorpy?   
change your alias then :) 

 **ferret spawn:** … _Seriously?_  

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** omG SCORP SHES GOIGN TO LEAVE AGAIN   
U CANT LET THIS HAPPEN   
SCORPY   
SCORP MA BROOOOO   
WE NEED HER 

 **studyqueen** **:** *finger hovers precariously over the “leave chat” button* 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** ILL SET MY COUSINS ON U HYPERION 

 **ferret spawn:** This is blackmail :(((((( 

 **ferret spawn** has changed his alias to **scorpy**. 

 **scorpy** **:** I hate you.   
All of you. 

 

* * *

 

 **lily potter** has opened a direct message with **anna** **longbottom** **.**  

 **lily:** anna!! :D 

 **anna** **:** lily! what’s wrong? ^^ 

 **lily:** nothing’s wrong per se.. but let’s hope a ship is about to sail ;) 

 **anna** **:** what did rose tell you?? 

 **lily:** nothing!! that’s the problem!   
she and scor are too cute together tho  <3 

 **anna** **:** rose? and _scorpius_ _?_  

 **lily:** YES OMG YES   
THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING GOIGN ON 

 **anna** **:** uhhhhh lol HAHHHAAHA you think they’re a secret item?   
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD   
i'm sorry, i really can’t imagine that ^^   
you were at hogwarts during their prank war, you saw they hated each other’s guts 

 **lily:** mmmhm exactly!!!   
the pranks were so specific, well thought out, carefully planned   
ik they’re not together, but a crush is NOT beyond belief at all   
and also they’re crazy cute  <3   
anna?   
hullo?? 

 

* * *

 

 **anna** **longbottom** has opened a direct message with **studyqueen** **.**  

 **anna** **:** ROSE   
ROSE   
ROSE 

 **studyqueen** **:** ? 

 **anna** **longbottom** has sent a screenshot to **studyqueen**. 

 **anna** **:** LILS GUESSED YOUR EX CRUSH 

 **studyqueen** **:** … 

 **anna** **:**!!!!!!!!! 

 **studyqueen** **:** I’ve never had a crush on Malfoy. 

 **anna** **: -_-**  

 **studyqueen** **:** seriously! 

 **anna** **:** ok _suuuure_ , but what do I say? 

 **studyqueen** : idk, tell Lily she’s going crazy?   
oh, she’s been Confounded.   
my prank war was actually waged on Malfoy’s now-deceased twin. 

 **anna** **:** ROSE 

 **studyqueen** **:** a Dementor supplanted her memories! 

 **anna** **:** DEMENTORS DON’T SUPPLANT MEMORIES 

 **studyqueen** **:** how about that our prank war was fueled by mutual hatred, as was visible to any and all spectators that weren’t disillusioned by rose-tinted glasses as she was, thanks to reading one too many cheesy tween romance novels? 

 **anna** **:**... 

 **studyqueen** **:** seriously, if you take out the wordy language, that’s a good argument!   
not that there’s anything to argue _against_ in the first place -_- 

 **anna:** ok ok, fine   
study session tonight? ^^ 

 **studyqueen** **:** yep ^^ 

 

* * *

 

 **anna** **longbottom** has opened a direct message with **lily potter.**  

 **lily:** anna?   
are you there???   
do you want in on my evil plan???? 

 **anna:** sorry, back now! ^^   
... what evil plan? 

 **lily:** I just got to the library   
I’m tracking scorpy and rose   
maybe ill wingardium some books, make him help her reach them 

 **anna:** YOU’VE BEEN READING TOO MANY CHEESY ROMANTIC NOVELS!! 

 **lily** **:** ??   
I guess my plan is a lil cliche but that’s the point, isnt it?  >:)   
ooooh anna, you want updates? 

 **anna:** … updates? 

 **lily potter** has sent a photo to **anna** **longbottom**. 

 **lily:** they’re mooning over books  <3 

 **anna:** oh my gosh   
they look so happy ^^ 

 **lily:** cute, amirite? 

 **lily potter** has sent 3 photos to **anna** **longbottom**. 

 **anna:** awww   
in an alternate timeline, I could completely imagine them together   
 

 **lily potter** has sent 2 photos to **anna** **longbottom**. 

 **anna:** ooooor maybe this timeline   
ooh, look at that smile ^^   
do you have any more pictures? 

 **lily potter** has sent a photo to **anna** **longbottom**. 

 **anna:** OK DEFINITELY THIS TIMELINE OH MY GOSH   
YOU CAUGHT ME I’VE BEEN A MAD SHIPPER ALL ALONG   
HIS ARM IS PRACTICALLY AROUND HER SHOULDER   
ASDGHGDSFJASHDAYRENU 

 **lily:** YES CALLED IT!! 

 **anna:** ok ok take more pictures!!   
what’s happening now?   
lils?? 

 **lily:** relax, I’m getting jamesie’s invisibility cloak 

 **anna:** … you evil genius   
alright, shipper in crime, i’m with you 

 **lily:** >:) 

 

* * *

 

 **lily potter** has sent a photo in **burrow buds**. 

 **hugo** **:** guys my wifi is still slow as slugs stop sending pictures   
ok theres a red blob and a white blob and i think theyre side hugging and the picture is from the back and is that a desk??   
what am i missing??? 

 **studyqueen** **:** oh my godric.   
is that _me?_  

 **scorpy** **:** Who took that picture? 

 **studyqueen** **:** OMG I _KNEW_ I WASN’T IMAGINING IT   
LILY WAS STALKING US IN THE LIBRARY EARLIER?!?!??! 

 **scorpy** **:** LILY?!

 **studyqueen** **:** LILS   
LILY LUNA POTTER   
ISTG I’LL NEVER HELP YOU LEARN ANOTHER SPELL 

 **lily potter** has changed her alias to **shipper in crime**. 

 **studyqueen** **:** WHAT EVEN IS A SHIPPER? 

 **shipper in crime:** >:) 

 **the best seeker:** AHHaahhaHAFHaHUShhahFD   
HHAHAHHhhhaoahhaHHAdfiJhhodrosifeJOOISsaaAAh 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a Howler and some people think Scorose is canon.

**studyqueen** has opened **burrow buds**. 

 **studyqueen** **:** MALFOY   
I KNOW YOU STOLE MY TEXTBOOK 

 **scorpy** **:** Which one? 

 **the best seeker:** lol mate ur not even denying it? 

 **studyqueen** **:** POTIONS   
THE ONE WITH _ALL_ MY NOTES IN IT   
THIS IS PART OF SOME SHIFTY MASTER PLAN, ISN’T IT? 

 **scorpy** **:** I didn’t steal your textbook! 

 **the best seeker:** omg u used an exclamtaion point   
u totally stole roses textbook 

 **scorpy** **:** I didn’t steal it.   
You left your textbook on the table unattended, and I merely borrowed it until I would be inevitably called out in a group chat. 

 **studyqueen** **:** SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY 

 **scorpy** **:** I’ll return it at dinner. 

 **studyqueen** **:** you'd better. 

 **scorpy** **:** Wow, are these detailed notes on Wiggenweld Potion?   
Saving these for next year. 

 **studyqueen** **:** MALFOY I SWEAR TO MERLIN 

 

* * *

 

 **scorpy** has opened **burrow buds**. 

 **scorpy** **:** Rose, I know you have my Herbology essay. 

 **studyqueen** **:** ?   
I don't. 

 **scorpy** **:** Those 12 inches took me two full days! Give it back! 

 **s** **tudyqueen** **:** wow, really?   
you write crazy slow. 

 **scorpy** **:** ROSE GRANGER-WEASLEY I DON'T KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME 

 **studyqueen** **:** hey, full names are _my_ thing. 

 **scorpy** **:** Yeah, that felt weird to type.   
Still, GIVE ME MY ESSAY BACK.   
I treated your textbook with more respect :(((((( 

 **studyqueen** **:** ok, first of all, my textbook had a ripped corner, so _no you didn't_ , ferret spawn.   
and second of all, I _don't have your essay._  

 **scorpy** **:** I SAW YOU TAKE IT. 

 **studyqueen** **:** I don't have your essay because I hid it in an undisclosed location :) 

 **scorpy** **:** …   
It's in the Room of Requirement, isn't it? 

 **studyqueen** **:** maybe. 

 

* * *

 

 **scorpy** has opened a direct message with **the best seeker**. 

 **scorpy** **:** Hey Al   
I need the Marauders' map. 

 **the** **best seeker:** huhghu is this bc rosie gotchu back   
hashahhahHHAHHAHsiodfjiosjaaa   
ok coming 

 

* * *

 

 **scorpy** has opened **burrow buds**. 

 **scorpy** has sent an image in **burrow buds**. 

 **hugo** **:** sTOP SENDNIG ME THINGS I CANT SEE 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** mate wat even is that 

 **scorpy** **:** WHAT   
THE   
SALAZAR   
GANGLY WEASEL DROPPED MY ESSAY IN THE LAKE. 

 **studyqueen** **:** it's tap water, it's reversible, and don't call me gangly weasel. 

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** u see?? u see wat u do al??   
BLOODY SLYEHTEHIRN SCUUSMUC 

 **t** **he best seeker:** how is this MY fault??? 

 **hugo** **:** u kno we really shouldve seen this coming when we put them in the same chat 

 **scorpy** **:** Leaving to find a counterspell.   
Add me back tomorrow. 

 **scorpy** has left **burrow buds**. 

 **shipper** **in crime:** crap i missed all the drama :'( 

 

* * *

 

 **the** **prankmaster** has opened a direct message with **needs liquid luck**. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** fred   
hey fred   
heyyyyyyy 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** heyyyyyyyyy 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** heyyyyyyyyYYYYyyyyyyy   
ok but srsly   
our next prank 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** yaaaaaaas 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** brainstrom go >:)  

 **needs** **liquid luck:** steal a hippogriff 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** what does a hpifgriff look like? 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** idk   
open the chamber of secrets 

 **t** **he** **prankmaster** **:** oMG YES 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** rlly?? 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** no wed get expelled :( 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** :(   
we could just send a howler to rosie 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** OHHHH YIIIIIIISSS 

 **needs liquid luck:** from uncle ron 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** FRED UR A FRIGIN GENIUS 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** always have been   
but wat would embarass her the most?? 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** omggGGGGgggggGGGGGGGGGGG   
i have an idea   
this is gonna be GOLD ahahahhaahah   
ok start takin notes 

 

* * *

 

 **george** **weasley** has opened a direct message with **james** **potter**. 

 **george** **:** James why did you order a voice modified howler from wheezes last night   
What are you and freddie planning 

 **james** **:** nothnig dear uncle 

 **george** **:** Fine dont tell me 

 

* * *

 

 **hugo** **gra** **nger-** **weasley** has added **scorpy** to **burrow buds**. 

 **hugo** **gra** **nger-** **weasley** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**. 

 **hugo** **:** ur welcome 

 **t** **he** **prankmaster** **:** omg U TOO HUGO?   
I EXPECTED THIS FROM AL BUT U???   
BETRAYAL 

 **shipper in crime** **:** james stop overemoting   
you and scorp literally played quidditch every day last summer 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** B E T R A Y A L 

 **needs** **liquid luck** **:** james where r u? 

 

* * *

 

 **needs** **liquid luck** has opened a direct message with **the** **prankmaster**. 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** mate ur literally about to miss ur own prank 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** ik ik comin!! 

 

* * *

 

 **anna** **longbottom** has opened **burrow buds.**  

 **anna:** rose has a howler on her table :(   
did any of you get one too? 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** nerp 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** no 

 **roxanne** **:** me neither, i'm so sorry rose [sad emoji] 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** alas open it get it ovr with  
oh wow its louder than i expected

 **hugo** **:** ... 

 **the** **best seeker:**... 

 **hugo** **:**??!   
wtf??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!???????   
??????????????????????????????? 

 **the** **best seeker:** WHAT IS UNCLE RON SSECRMAING ABOUT   
SCORIPUS MALFOFFY

 **hugo** **:** ?????????????????????????????? 

 **shipper** **in crime:** omggggggg   
can t breathe 

 **the** **best seeker:** SAFGHYUASDUIASYUIFUIASDFHNU 

 **hugo** **:** ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 

 **scorpy** **:** What thE HECK. 

 

* * *

 

 **t** **he** **prankmaster** has opened a direct message with **needs liquid luck**. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** a job well well done 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** yaaaaas indeed

 

* * *

 

 **j** **ennifer** **thomas** has opened a direct message with **rose granger-** **weasley** **.**  

 **jennifer** **:** what is malfoys fav color? 

 **rose:** the howler was LYING 

 

* * *

 

 **karla** **greengrass** has opened a direct message with **rose granger-** **weasley** **.**  

 **karla** **:** omg omg omg omg omg omg is it true is it true is it true 

 **rose:** NO   
HOW TF DID YOU GET MY DM 

 

* * *

 

 **leo** **jameson** has opened a direct message with **rose granger-** **weasley** **.**  

 **leo** **:** Is scorpius actually taken??? 

 **rose:** WHO ARE YOU 

 

* * *

 

 **mandy** **skye** has opened a direct message with **rose granger-** **weasley** **.**  

 **mandy** **:** how did you do it?   
cupid crystals?   
beguiling bubbles?   
kissing chocolate?   
omg was it wonderwitch?   
HOLY HUFFLEPUFF IT WAS AMORTENTIA WASN’T IT 

 **rose:** I DON'T FREAKING KNOW YOU 

 

* * *

 

 **b** **eatrice** **zabini** has opened a direct message with **rose granger-** **weasley** **.**  

 **beatrice** **:** is scorp a good snogger??!!?

 **rose:** _W T F_  

 

* * *

 

 **studyqueen** has opened **burrow buds**. 

 **studyqueen** **:** JAMES SIRIUS POTTER   
FRED REMUS WEASLEY   
I KNOW THIS WAS YOU AND WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOUR BARBARIC KIND YOU'LL BE COUGHING UP SLUGS IN SIBERIA AND NURSING 17 SEPARATE HEXES IN THE HOSPITAL WING 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** crAP 

 **studyqueen** **:** ADMIT WHAT YOU DID OR YOUR PUNISHMENT _WILL_ BE TEN THOUSAND TIMES WORSE 

 **needs** **liquid luck:** it wasnt actually uncle ron!!  
we buoght a voice mod howler  
james recorded it last nite   
it was an honor knowing u all :''''''( 

 **shipper** **in crime:** so.. scorpy and rose _aren't_ secretly together? 

 **studyqueen** has left **burrow buds**. 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** oH GORDRIC SHES COMNIG FOR US 

 

* * *

 

 **the** **best seeker** has opened a direct message with **scorpy**. 

 **the** **best seeker:** hey mate   
uve been rlly quiet in the gc, u ok?   
pls tell me ur not ACTUALLY dating rose ahhHAHHfd 

 **scorpy** **:** I'm not. 

 **the** **best seeker:** k   
sooo.. what r u gonna do about the prank? 

 **scorpy** **:** The only thing I can think to do is curse out Fred and James, which Rose already did.   
Or curse them out in real life, which Rose is currently doing.   
I'll wait a few hours to enact my revenge. 

 **the best seeker:** lol  
brb

 **scorpy** **:** ... Hey. Albus.   
Do you know anyone named Mandy?   
She mailed me an amortentia antidote. 

 

* * *

 

 **minerva** **mcgonagall** has opened a direct message with **ginny** **potter** , **harry potter** , **george** **weasley** , and **angelina** **weasley**. 

 **mcgonagall** **:** I'm sorry to inform you that your sons, Fred Weasley II and James Sirius Potter, were hexed several times repeatedly this afternoon. They're both in stable condition and only mild pain, although they have requested (rather oddly) to stay in the hospital wing tonight. 

 **mcgonagall** **:** We are still looking for the student who put them in this state, although rest assured, it was certainly a prank and not a hate crime. 

 

* * *

 

 **scorpy** has added **studyqueen** to **burrow buds**. 

 **scorpy** has sent an image in **burrow buds**. 

 **hugo** **:** who is that suposed to be?   
rita skeeter?? 

 **scorpy** **:** No, it's Fred and James throwing up slugs in the hospital wing. 

 **scorpy** has sent 5 images in **burrow buds**. 

 **the** **best seeker:** hAAAA   
sweet revenge scorp   
saving all of these for blackmail!! 

 **shipper** **in crime:** merlin, that's a _lot_ of slugs 

 **the** **prankmaster** **:** how did u get those??!? 

 **scorpy** has sent 2 images in **burrow buds**. 

 **scorpy** **:** Magic. And you're welcome :) 

 **a** **nna** **:** i have to say, rose, you really outdid yourself this time ^^   
kudos and confetti~ 

 **studyqueen** **:** ah, feels so nice to have my work appreciated.  
oh, and fred and james?   
don't tell a soul who put you in this state :) 

 **prankmaster** **:** yes maam 

 

* * *

 

 **studyqueen** has opened a direct message with **anna** **longbottom** **.**  

 **studyqueen** **:** please, please, _please_  tell me no one still thinks malfoy and I are dating. 

 **a** **nna** **:** only the whole school ^^   
you know, it's not _that_ unrealistic, you two could be cute together

 **studyqueen** **:** ANNA

 **anna:** jk! no worries, I'll spread the word tmr ^^ 

 **studyqueen** **:** _thank godric._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I had no idea where this chapter was going? XD


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone texts in class.

**the prankmaster** has opened **burrow buds**.

 **the prankmaster:** haaaaaaaalp me  
i forgot 2 add wormwood to the druaght of living death!!  
rose  
rose??  
i need ur potions genius expertsise

 **scorpy:** You're in class right now. Why do you have your phone?

 **the prankmaster:** yiiis scorp ma bro!!  
halp me

 **the best seeker:** lol

 **scorpy:**... Why are you texting from class? **  
** I feel like I'm morally obligated not to give you answers.

 **studyqueen:** _please._  
morality? try hypocrisy.  
I can literally see you frowning at your phone on the other side of the classroom, malfoy.

 **scorpy:** The moral obligation exists entirely separately from the questions I asked.  
I'm hiding my phone much better than Al, at least.

 **the best seeker:** hurtful m8

 **anna:** al, your notifs are on...

 **the best seeker:** oh  
compleletly intentional haha

 **anna:** shouldn't we all be paying attention right now? ^^  
sorry someone had to say it

 **studyqueen:** even _I_ don't see the point of this lecture...

 **scorpy:** This is torture.  
He's been talking about goblin rebellions for 73 minutes now.

 **studyqueen:** you've been counting?

 **scorpy:** That and taking selfies.

 **studyqueen:** narcissistic prick.

 **scorpy:** Is that a reference to my grandmother?

 **studyqueen:** no, greek mythology.  
anna's been ranting about muggle myths, hasn't everyone heard her by now?

 **scorpy:** It was a joke.

 **the best seeker:** lol  
uuucckuuucggug i can't feel my brainn

 **scorpy** has sent a photo to **burrow buds**.

 **scorpy:** And here we find Professor Binns in his natural habitat, mid-sneeze as we enter our 75th straight minute of goblinal lesson.

 **the best seeker:** lol nice  
how did u take that wihtout getting caughgt?

 **scorpy:** Magic.

 **studyqueen:**  in any case, those are passable photography skills at best.

 **scorpy:** As if you could do better.

 **studyqueen** has sent a photo to **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen:** there.

 **scorpy:** Meh.  
Zabini is photobombing.

 **studyqueen:** -_-

 **scorpy** has sent a photo to **burrow buds**.

 **scorpy:** An aesthetically average sample of rosius grange-weasleum inhabits History of Magic.

 **studyqueen:**  okay, seriously?  
3/10. the humor falls flat.

 **studyqueen** has sent 2 photos to **burrow buds**.

 **studyqueen:** exhibit b and c: malfoy has ink in his hair and drool on his desk.

 **scorpy:** That's not drool!

 **the prankmaster:** i have returned!!  
oK NERDS i still need halp  
nerds??  
nerds??????  
DSFUIUIDMFUIEUIybe

 **scorpy:** ...

 **the prankmaster:** Mr. Potter's phone has been confiscated. I suggest that you cease your flirting to avoid a similar outcome.  
\- Professor Vahisse

 **studyqueen:** what

 **scorpy:** What

 

* * *

 

 **studyqueen** has opened a direct message with **anna longbottom**.

 **studyqueen:** that was _not_ flirting.

 **anna:** you were taking pictures of each other  
and adding cute captions  
but yea, that was friend stuff

 **studyqueen:** ...

 **anna:** acquaintance stuff

 **studyqueen:** EXACTLY!

 

* * *

 

 **anna longbottom** has opened a direct message with **shipper in crime**.

 **anna:** something cute happened in class today!  
check the group chat ^^

 **shipper in crime:** omg, ADORABLE

 **anna:** right??

 **shipper in crime:** I gotta add this to the ship album  >:)

 **anna:** you have a ship album?  
... are we sure scorpius and rose are comf with that?

 **shipper in crime:** ?

 **anna:**  I mean, I'd be pretty uncomf if someone made an album of me an

 **shipper in crime:** you and... ?

 **anna:** an album of me, anna

 **shipper in crime:** mm  
well we can always ask em >:)

 

* * *

 

 **shipper in crime** has opened a direct message with **studyqueen**.

 **shipper in crime:** hi rose!!  
food for thought  
do you mind if, say, your friend takes screenshots of group chats/pictures of you and other friends and puts them in an album??

 **studyqueen:** yeah, sure?  
but what is this about?

 **shipper in crime:** nothing, nothing  <3

 

* * *

 

 **shipper in crime** has opened a direct message with **scorpy**.

 **shipper in crime:** hey slytherin  
is it alright if I find screenshots and pics of every time you and rose have ever talked to each other and put them in a lil digital folder??

 **scorpy:** WHAT?

 **shipper in crime:** danggit I was _sure_ you fancied her  
nvm nvm

 

* * *

 

 **shipper in crime** has opened a direct message with **anna longbottom**.

 **shipper in crime:** great news, neither of them said no!  >:)

 

* * *

 

 **needs liquid luck** has opened **burrow buds**.

 **needs liquid luck:** aL THIS IS ALL UR FAULT U SSYLTHREIN SCUM  
i have detnetions  
i cant play quid  
im still burping up slugs  
and now VAHISSE IS HOLDNIG MY PHONE HOSTAGE

 **the best seeker:** ok so im guessing this is james  
none of that is my fault m8  
u brought this on urself

 **needs liquid luck:** [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji] [crying emoji]

 **hugo:** ...

 **studyqueen:** how long until you get your phone back anyway?

 **needs liquid luck:** til tmr  
[crying emoji]

 **studyqueen:** well, I assume you aren't suffering that much considering you stole Fred's phone.  
is that why you're not at dinner?  
he's screaming that he wants his memes back, but it sounds more like bloody murder.

 **the best seeker:** lol

 **hugo:** hi this is fred  
IU WNANT MNY PHONBE VBACK RIUHGT BNOW U PLEVB OF A BVEST MNATE!!!

 **needs liquid luck:** woops

 **needs liquid luck** has changed his alias to **freduardo**.

 **freduardo:** well if i acomplishde 1 thing 2day at least fred has a wittier alisas

 

* * *

 

 **the best seeker** has opened **burrow buds**.

 **the best seeker:** ok now that thats blown over  
lets talk abt how vahisse thought scorpy and rose were flirtin lol

 **hugo:** can we pls not

 **studyqueen:** are we sure that vahisse is capable of taking social cues?  
he still thinks Rachel and Eugene are bffs, but they hate each other's guts to the point where if left unattended, they would actually try to gut each other and dump said guts in the lake.

 **alice:** now that you mention it.. he _does_ think louis and scorpius are brothers

 **the best seeker:** he does???  
how lol

 **scorpy:** All blond-haired people are related, obviously.

 **freduardo:** ayyyyyy got my phone back

 **studyqueen:** gooDJANMESIUISWERARJ  
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **freduardo:** ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **studyqueen:** ayyyyYyyyyYYYYYYYyyYYYYYyyyyyyYYYYYY

 **the best seeker:** ok either rose has finally lost it or james stole another phone

 **studyqueen** has changed her alias to **rosuardo**.

 **rosuardo** has changed her alias to **posie**.

 **the best seeker:** yep def james  
see?? u bring this on urself

 **posie** has changed her alias to **ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy**.

 **ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy** has changed her alias to **wassup**.

 **wassup** has changed her alias to **rose malfoy**.

 **the best seeker:** ...

 **rose malfoy:** danggit all of these names r eithre too lame or theyll get me hexefd again

 **scorpy:** ......

 **rose malfoy** has changed her alias to **expel me** **from hogwarts**.

 ** **expel me** **from hogwarts**** has changed her alias to **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY**.

 ** **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY:** ** there we go!!!  
aand gotta change her wallpapaer into a selfie o me

 **shipper in crime** : james..

 **hugo:** i thought u were just complaining abt your bad luck  
i wuold stop

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY** has sent 19 images in **burrow buds**.

 **hugo:** :/

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY:** selfie spam!!!!!!!  
ok hiding now byeeeee fam

 

* * *

 

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY** has opened a direct message with **anna longbottom**.

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY** : ANNA  
ANNA  
CHECK YOUR READ RECEIPTS  
DID JAMES OPEN OUR DM EARLIER?  
ANNA  
ANNA  
ANNA

 **anna:** hold on, relax, I'll check  
he didn't ^^

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY** : K GOOD

 **anna:** why?

 

* * *

 

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY** has opened **burrow buds**.

 **rOsE gRaNgEr-wEasLeY** has changed her alias to **vengeful studyqueen**.

 **freduardo:** oh lol real rose is back  
it was nice knowin u mate

 **vengeful studyqueen:** JAMES SIRIUS POTTER  
WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU'RE WORMWOOD PULP

 **hugo** : craaaaAAAAP

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose obviously has a password on her phone (unlike Fred, *cough*) but James stole it when it was unlocked.
> 
> **NEXT CHAPTER: HOGSMEADE! >:)**

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving thoughts, comments, rambles, and/or man-eating goldfish! ^^  
> 
> 
> Feedback always feeds me, so a comment would make me really happy! :D


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